Things You Can Never Have Too Much Of

Here's a list of a few things you can never have too much of:

1. Hugs
2. Peanut Butter
3. Chocolate
4. Reese's Peanut Butter (see #2 & #3 above)
5. Money
6. Free time

I know there are more, but this is just off the top of my head.

New Years Resolutions

I have a list of resolutions that I'm pledging myself to this year:

• I pledge to only work at most two nights in a week.
• I pledge to have at least two nights a month for movies with the kids
• I pledge to have at least two nights a month for game night with the kids
• I pledge to blog three times a week
• I pledge to work on the Artist's Way
• I pledge to start doing yoga three times a week, in addition to the other exercises, etc I'm already doing

My plan also has another step, which is to revisit these every month to revise them.  Resolutions are good but they need to be renewed, pruned, trimmed as they don't work.

Thoughts on my own Death

I just finished up a post about the album "Haunted" by Poe on Last.fm. The album crushes my heart every time I hear it because of the end. It is a gentle lullaby sang by Poe to her deceased father with recordings from her father talking to his kids when they were little.

Being a father I'm so deeply and personally attached my children (normal) but to the point that sometimes at night I think about the million things I could have done with my kids and the fact that I didn't get to. I think about the fact that I have to travel to work tomorrow and I could die and never see them again. I think about the fact that I could be at work and something could happen to them, and I yelled at them today. I spanked Owen. I flit through the untold horrors that could befall us all and cry. I weep like a child out of regret and fear and anger and disappointment. I weep in the middle of the night out of terror. For no reason at all.

I lost my father when I was 16 and I know how damned hard it is, and I can't bear to think about my own children having to go through that when I pass away. It is perverse that the one thing I wish I could help them with the most, the one thing I wish I could shield them from and keep them away from is the very thing that takes me from them.