Exercise Journal - 11 May 2009

I got up this morning a little before 4.30 to run. I looked at the clock to make sure I was reading it right. I wasn't tired, but I wasn't awake either. Was it really that early? As I stood there breathing and whirring in the dark, Heather rolled over.
"Is it time to get up already?"
I leaned over and kissed her on the forehead. "Not yet. I'm going running."
"But you just went to bed."
"It only feels that way. I love you."
She rolled over and fell back asleep. I set the alarm clock to 5.30 and pulled on shorts, a heavy gray t-shirt, and my beige Nike hoodie with the frayed collar and cuffs. The fan sucked in gulps of the cool night air and I knew I needed a jacket to run in or I'd freeze.

I stood looking in the mirror for a minute, staring at myself. I entertained the idea that I might actually look dashing, and then I got to the business of brushing my teeth. Once I was done with that, I pulled up the leg of my shorts and pissed in the toilet and I was off. Down the stairs, stop watch in hand, and out the door I stepped into the dark early morning.

It was quiet. The birds barely murmured. The roads still slept. The air felt poised to spring up. I slowly walked the circle, taking time to tweet that I was out jogging that early.

I turned the corner and started jogging. Immediately my knees complained and felt stiff, so I slowed a little, but I wasn't going to stop. I turned the corner and into the next circle. Dogs in house barked madly as I made my rounds. Birds started waking and whooping in the trees. Someone opened their garage door. I pushed on, jogging down the long hill till I couldn't suck breath any more. I reveled in the fact that I'd jogged without stopping even further than I had any time before. I checked my stop watch and saw I wasn't making great time, but I still felt wonderful.

I walked for two minutes until my breath caught up with me and then I started again, jogging the rolling hills of my neighborhood, making the turns and climbs back to my house. The joy of living on top of the hill is paired with the pain of having to climb that hill every time you want to get home. At 4.30 in the morning my wife's not going to get out of bed to pick me up if I get lazy.

When I got back to the circle by my house I slowed and walked quietly. The neighbor's dog Molly apoplectically barked at me again. I laughed and sucked air as I cooled down. The stop watch showed I'd made a 17-minute mile. I was happy. It wasn't my best time, but I didn't even expect that good of a result for running that early.

And there's always Wednesday to improve on my time.

Seven Places I Really Want to Visit Right Now

I'm feeling down and kind of depressed right now, which is not always unusual for me. Sometimes this mood will wash over me without warning and then pass the next day or two, but it's what keeps me up right now. I'm actually going to force myself to go to bed in a few minutes so I can get some sleep, otherwise I'd be likely to stay up all night working or playing on the computer.

So I'm thinking about seven places I'd rather be right now. This is in no particular order.

1. Atlantic City, NJ - There is a certain stark charm to Atlantic City during the winter. It's too cold and windy for the tacky to be out. The boardwalk is sometimes silent aside from the crashing waves, and the casinos are empty. AC wears that well.
2. Apricale, Italy - That's the place in the above picture. It looks gorgeous. It's on the Italian Riveria, so it's only an hour from the beach, right across the border from France, and near Nice. Italian food, French food, fresh air, and the beach? Yes please. (Photo courtesy of Flickr user Bert52. All rights reserved.)
3. Disney World - It's warm and the air is thick. It truly has the feel of magic. Both times I've been to Disney World I have been overwhelmed by how at peace I feel. Maybe they put Xanax in water. Maybe I just belong there. I have a CD of the music that they play in the background at Animal Kingdom and when I am at my darkest I put it on. When I do that same peaceful feeling floods my heart and I cry.
4. Kerala, India - Also warm. I have been told that Kerala is the most beautiful place in India, and from the pictures I have seen, I'd believe it. The picture here is of the sunset on a boat tour through the waters of Kerala. I want so badly to go there. They say that 70,000 years ago the ancestors of man who migrated out of Africa settled in the Kerala region and many never left. I really can't say that I blame them.
(Photo courtesy of Flickr user albany_tim. All rights reserved.)
5. Japan - Right now I don't want to visit the Japan we most often see, the big city and all of the insanity and weirdness that comes with it, but the reflective pine forests and quiet contemplative places. I want to find a place to be still. I want to find a place to be able to say nothing for long periods of time and have that be okay.
6. Santorini, Greece - Built on top of, and next to, many volcanos, Santorini is also a stark place. But in the midst of all that starkness people have built incredible beauty and charm. A long time ago I bought a small postcard sized picture of a terrace in Santorini looking out onto the Mediterranean without knowing where it was. I just knew I wanted to step through the picture and onto that terrace very badly. I still do. (Photo courtesy of Flickr user MarcelGermain. All rights reserved.)
7. Sao Paolo, Brazil - It's not that I crave busy or bustle right now. Clearly I'm seeking refuge from it, but there's still a part of me that wants to go there. I would love to travel the whole of Brazil, but I find something incredibly appealing about Brazil's "second city." Rio may get more of the attention but I'm less interested in it. Maybe it's because Anthony Bourdain spent time in Sao Paolo and that got me interested.

There are plenty of other places that I would love to visit one day, these are just the ones that are right at the forefront of my head.

Maybe once I sleep I will feel more whole again and this desire to travel will have subsided. Somehow, though, I doubt it.